Take a moment.....

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid. 

 T S Elliot

This is how I and many others feel with a Cancer diagnosis. 

This fear remains when you learn that when you receive a cancer diagnosis, your mortality is all about the number five. 

What percentage of people with the same kind of cancer who survive five years is the statistic which is given you: that is your new goal in life. To survive five years. To be one of those statistics which in itself brings fear, because you are also aware of how many pass with it each year. That is what we live with. It is one thing to know you are not going to live forever but the human mind is good at putting it to the back of your mind. With cancer, each hospital appointment, at the moment I have 10 a year, reminds me over and over again of my own statistics....they are looking constantly to see if the treatment worked or is it still there hiding, lurking.

At the moment 2 in 3 are surviving the five years in Ireland: but it is so important to see if we can get this figure higher. That is why research is so important.

Five years probably doesn't sound a lot, but this is what five years will mean for me:

I will see my youngest son reach 16: adulthood
I will have been here to help him through that journey which is high school and puberty and teach him to have faith in himself
I will see my middle son reach 22: hopefully I will have helped him learn to drive: helped him with his leavers cert exams: helped him deal with his girlfriend issues and remind him how wonderful he is.
I will see my eldest daughter reach 28. I may see her think about starting a family, and who knows, I might become a grandmother: a young grandmother lol
I will have taught people and touched their lives which though small, may have made some difference at the time
I will have told my husband I loved him, each and every day
I will have seen sunshine: rainbows, splashed in the rain and enjoyed every moment of it
I will have grown things: vegetables, flowers, trees. Lots and lots of trees.
I will play with my dogs: my wee rescue dogs who look at me with adoration in their eyes and to them I am an angel in physical form.
I will cook and clean and teach my children how to care for themselves
I will greet each day with a sense of gratitude and wonder: I never have bad days now.
I will live

So please, pop onto my sponsorship page and help me, either financially or with words of support as I prepare to walk 116 kms to raise money for the Irish Cancer Society and their reseach which works alongside every single research project in the world xx

Fund raising wise; things are going well. I taught in Dublin this weekend gone, have had sponsorship from the UK and have only two little owls left looking for their forever homes. 

Crafting has been slow but I am making great progress on Nancy'S I HAVE TIME TO SPARE said the hare...which if you think about it is a little ironic but hey ho: I will take it as a good sign.

I have had lots of hospital appointments this week: got to go back for another scan but I am trying not to dwell on it: rather, I am enjoying seeing my crochet blanket grow and grow.  Mmmmmm theres a point.  How big  is a baby blanket?????

Take care everyone and have a wonderful May Day xxxx